Oh yeah, that self doubt was setting in....I also think I'd got to an OK point of thinking, oh well, there's always next year......It's ok, I'm not bothered, I'm ok with this....And I was, I was actually ok with this, because I believe that when the time is right, you will do it, what ever it is!
It might be something you never thought you would do...it might be something you planned but you're not quite ready to...but I'm a great believer in, plant the seed and the tree will grow.... that desire won't go away, but when the time is right you can act on it, thats why I believe there are so many Smiler's out there, whether you've got in touch or not...when the time is right...for you...you will!
It's a bit like giving up smoking, until the point where it is 100% what you want to do, it will not happen. Once it is that 100% you, it will happen!
2 weeks ago on Sunday I got up to go and do the Rye to Hastings Race with my club Hastings Runners, I love this run, well after the first 3 miles or so anyway. The views are usually spectacular, the weather is lovely, and there's lots of people to run with at the back (my favourite place to be, of course).
NOT this year, the weather forecast was horrendous, but ever the optimist, I thought, nah, it'll be ok...up until midnight the night before the lovely Sharon was messaging me and the lovely Arrianne, firstly, are we mad enough to do this and then are you mad enough to do this?? respectively!
I set a time of 6.45 the next morning to decide...I slept really badly, thinking about what was ahead...I woke up many times...then the alarm after 5 hours 45 mins of sleep and decided...yes we are doing it!
What made me decide this... well I thought ahead to the future...to how I wanted to feel and I knew that if I hadn't got on that coach at silly o'clock on a Sunday Morning, I would annoy myself allday, because lunchtime would come and go and I'd think, well I could have done that, the weather's much better now!
So on the coach we got....off the coach we got....sometimes there are advantages to being one of the more......time relaxed members of a club...the weather was so bad, we got an earlier start....yes please, I'd love to run in that rain even earlier....the weather was that bad, I stepped over a dead frog and soapsuds started appearing from nowhere out of my running gear...I thought it was my dextrose tablets disintegrating until, in an effort to prove that it was the Dextrose I got a taste of soap instead, great advert for Aldi though, keeps washing even after the machine!!!
Delirium set in at this point! Singing Queen's Don't stop me now, poor Kim had to listen to it! |
There was mud, there was beach stones allowing the faster to pass easier on the world's narrowest running path with only an inch of safety before possibly falling down a hill onto a fast road. There was no possible way of stopping for the yearly selfie stop, everything was far too wet for that. I thought about ditching the running jacket as it was wetter than me...but the gloves in my bag were even wetter so there was no warmth to gain.....pretty much, it was the toughest run I've ever,ever had.12.8 miles of not much fun! But of course I kept that smile as much as I could, because I was doing it, I was out there, I was ALIVE!!!! I was also quite delirious by the end...but I did it...because I can and if I can...anyone can!
Part 4 coming up next week!
The Smile Coach,
Located in Hastings, East Sussex
www.thesmilecoachforyou.co.uk
Facebook: Emma Wareham
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Twitter: @emmalovesarun
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